Skiing 2008

Skiing 2008

Partly cloudy skies, forty-one degrees, and great snow-God couldn't have blessed us with a better day!  The beginners made it off the bunny hill, I must have taught a dozen kids to successfully negotiate the chair lift, and the snow boarders were at the peak of their performances.  Then there was the one, there is always one, whose idea didn't progress as planned.  We'll call him Xboy, I don't know why, just go with me. 

Xboy took the ski lesson, learned how to turn and stop.  He had skied for several hours and was having a terrific time.  Xboy then had an epiphany.  He could save himself some effort if he used the side of the ski lodge to stop; you know just put out his hands and stop himself on the side of the building.  Xboy thought this a great idea and so proceeded to the top of the bunny hill via the tow rope.

Xboy pushed off (thank you God, the snow was pretty wet so he couldn't get up to deadly speed) and continued straight down the bunny hill toward the lodge.  Now this idea may have worked if not for the patch of bare concrete directly in front of the lodge wall where Xboy was planning to end his run.  His skis hit that patch of concrete and stopped instantly, but his body did not.  He continued head first into the wall of the lodge creating such a loud sound, it echoed throughout the lodge causing people to run from miles around to see where the bomb had gone off.

Instantly Xboy was surrounded by professional Ski Patrol medics just salivating to practice some good ole' first aid.  "Did you pass out?  Can you see my fingers?  Are your arms tingling?"

Xboy, shaken, and overwhelmed by all the attention managed a "Uh, yeah, my fingers are a little tingly."

Out came the neck immobilizer, the stretcher, 911 was called, and an ambulance dispatched.  Xboy was strapped down faster than a WWF weakling.  His eyes were wide with disbelief.  It was difficult for him to spell his name with his jaw strapped like that, but he was a real trooper.

Xboy was taken to the hospital, had a catscan, and his parents arrived in a flurry.  After all the tests came back negative, Xboy was released to the custody of his parents with instructions to watch for any "peculiar behavior."  The kid just used his head to stop himself, isn't that peculiar enough?

As suspected, xrays determined that Xboy had nothing in his head.  But didn't we already know that?

New Post

One Canoe Short

So we took our annual 7th and 8th grade canoe trip.  It was cloudy and humid but we set off anyway.  It poured rain twice on our way to Mongo, Indiana, but when we got there it was just sprinkling.  We set off in 14 canoes, 22 students and 5 adults.  The first thing we encountered was swarms of mosquitoes worthy of one of the plagues of Egypt.  Kids were screaming and batting at the pesky critters with their canoe paddles.  This of course caused them to turn their concentration from the river and wind up hitting the bank which plunged them deeper into mosquito territory.  Now mind you we had ALL sprayed thoroughly with mosquito repellent, but the recent rains had bred a strain of insects that were impervious to our pitiful attempts at escape.  I, being the teacher, was bringing up the rear and the first thing I encountered rounding the  bend was two girls beached, screaming and crying, paralyzed by mosquito frenzy.  No verbal encouragement even reached their ears, so I finally got out of my canoe, dragged them to the bank, and showed them how to cover their skin with mud.  This helped somewhat, and at least they were able to make forward progress.

Next I came upon two boys stuck in a series of branches.  Due to recent storms there were several downed trees causing parts of the river to be navigable through a very small path.  These guys missed.  After dislodging them, I pushed myself off a fallen tree and my paddle stuck while my canoe continued being swept down the river which was quite high and the current much swifter than usual. I knew I could not finish the trip without a paddle so I vaulted out of my canoe into about five feet of swiftly moving water.  I beached my canoe and tried to swim upstream to my paddle.  Unfortunately the current was swift enough, and the water deep enough that every time I tried to swim, I was carried downstream.  Next I tried walking upstream, but every time I lifted my foot, the same thing happened.  Finally I was forced to wade to the bank, where the water was not any more shallow, grab vines and branches and pull myself to my paddle.  Finally I made it back to my canoe with my paddle. 

The two guys I found next were standing on a tree that had fallen across the river.  The diameter of the trunk of this tree was about 4 1/2 feet.  The space between the bottom of the river and the tree trunk was only about 18 inches which caused tremendous suction, and that was where their canoe was.  The had been tipped over by the youth director/chaperon, Elan, their canoe had filled with water, and now it was submerged and suctioned to the bottom of the river.  After several tries, I told them to leave it there and commandeer the mysteriously abandoned canoe that was beached nearby.  I made sure that said canoe, with a pair of pink crocs in the bottom, was not missing two paddlers who were also suctioned to the bottom of the river, but they assured me it was left there by two girls who felt floating down the river without a canoe would cut down on the number of mosquito bites they were getting. 

Near the end of our adventure, it began pouring rain in earnest.  I canoed for quite some time before rounding a final bend and finding two girls in orange life jackets, sitting shivering on the bank.  I picked them in my canoe and finally made it to the end.

So that was our trip for this year.  Not quite like trips in the past.  The kids were laughing and telling stories on the bus ride back to the parking lot, so they must have had fun.  I wonder how many moms had to deal with whining, itching children this weekend?

Oh, the canoe man said he would try to rescue his canoe even though I offered to pay for it.  It didn't look like he believed me when I told him his guys would not be able to get it out until the water level receded.  That's okay, let him send his manly men out there to try.  He'll still come up one canoe short.